Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
