He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
