Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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