I wanna passion pit in your ass
Barsexuality is the new black.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize