Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I should be a condom model.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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