***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Randomize
