So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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