Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
