i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
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If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
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I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
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