btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
