I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
