i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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