at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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