so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
