im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
