I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
