Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
