i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
well most of my day revolves around power hour
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
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