I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
