these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
