This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
