Buhtt sex?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
