when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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