Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
