After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
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I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
The feeling are messing with the penis
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
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He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
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