i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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