Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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