She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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