If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
