4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize