Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
My vagina just clenched in fear
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
