Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
