it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
