So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
