i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Randomize
