Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
