I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
