I bet he comes in French.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
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