Are we in a gay sports bar?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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