You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
