Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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