I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
