Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
