Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Ladies don't puke and tell
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
