If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Randomize
