So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.