no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
