She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
i now understand why vodka
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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