i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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