Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Randomize
