if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
