Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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