Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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