That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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