I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
