I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize