Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
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