i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
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I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
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we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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