This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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