Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Randomize